Grandeur of Delusion (GoD)
Prize for best dressed shop window 2019 (Kutna Hora)
"We know that people want to be loved. Not for what they are but for what they appear to be."
The Holy Mountain (1973) Alejandro Jodorowsky
In this competitive world of constant comparison we are all encouraged to become show offs. Even the quietest amongst us is pushed into playing the performing monkey.
Peculiar, because unless you seek rewards there is literally no one 'important' to show off to.
The problem is...
we all seek rewards!
Even if it's only a pat on the back,
"Well done. Lovely cup of tea."
"You have a beautiful phone voice."
And so we show off. Like kids prancing round the living room in front of visiting relatives.
And we get the praise and we win. We feel like we've won.
But then it has only just begun.
Like looking through the sketch book of an artist who is a master draughtsman. The first three pictures hold your interest and all too soon it feels like this is just another bozo who can draw!
Praise gives us momentary delusions of grandeur.
"I am the world's greatest parker. I have the voice of an angel. Nobody makes tea like I make tea. Look at my pretty pictures..."
I've been working on my 'balance'.
I even felt centred and real and true to myself last week after reading about and then auditing a Meisner acting class.
I looked about me in the street and thought about all the poor bastards who were not being as clear thinking and real as I was being. "Look at them! Wandering around, lost, stupid."
I was delusional.
I soon stepped out of this egotistical haze, centred myself again and what flashed through my feeble mind?
"I'm doing a very very good job of not being delusional! Just look at what a good job I'm doing!"
Jung said we can gain strength from our myths and that it is better to work with a myth than with nothing at all.
The myth which seems to have the most followers is the myth that anything we do which results in financial gain has value. This is second only to the myth that some of us know what's going on.
The grandeur of delusion is all encompassing, time consuming,
strangest of all,
Stepping out of this comfort zone of delusion means GoD knows what. Even outside of the comfort zone we must make stuff up in order to survive.
We have so many ties binding us to this 'comfortable' way of thinking it seems impossible that we would ever loosen these chains and free ourselves.
The Tarot is one way of seeing past the chains to the truth of what we desire for ourselves.
To be 100% honest with oneself and others is difficult, hence our desire to take an interest in Buddhism, Mindfulness, special Diets, Philosophy, Therapies, Hallucinogenic experiences, Tarot and the like.
We might trust that all these methods and ways of escaping are worth it if we just remember what it is we are escaping from - that being, other people's space.
This feeling of living in someone else's space is something we are all familiar with. It's not just related to society though, it's related to the planet's psyche. We compromise our true selves to please the people we are with.
Should we not trust the people we live amongst to be adult enough and strong enough to deal with another person's real needs? After all, if our peers can't deal with our shit then they are probably the wrong people to be hanging around.
"Being honest may not get you a lot of friends but it’ll always get you the right ones." John Lennon
Our interest in wacky courses and religions and philosophies and the like is the desire to know other people, and we cannot really 'know' other people unless we are honest and true to our own natures. If you ain't being straight you ain't gonna get responses equal to the moment, and all you will end up with is an imaginary relationship.
Like my interest in studying things like the Meisner technique. It's about dropping the ego and watching others with clear eyes and a clear mind. Working with what is really there and not something I have reasoned into existence.
"By each act, word and thought, the one object of the ceremony - The Invocation of the Holy Guardian Angel - is being constantly indicated. Every fumigation, invocation, banishing and circumambulation is simply a reminder of the single purpose until - after symbol upon symbol, emotion after emotion having been added - the supreme moment arrives, and every nerve of the body, every force-channel of the Nephesch and Ruach is strained in one overwhelming orgasm, one ecstatic rush of Will and Soul in the pre-determined direction.
Everything in the operation is so arranged that it will remind the Magician of his one Aim, his one True Object.
His whole energy is resolved that every act shall turn to the advantage of his invocations."
Israel Regardie - Garden of Pomegranates
Things and people to watch out for on this journey of understanding...
People who eat with their mouths open
People who shout "Shots!" in a bar
Vampires and Zombies
People who won't watch black and white movies or movies with subtitles
Dead fish hand shakers
Watch out for the dead fish hand shakers.
BE YOUR BEST SELF - BETTER THAN ALL THE REST - MWAHAHAHAAAAA!!!!!
I am committed to making this blog as snappy, fun, experimental and accessible as I can. If any of what I post, paint, paste or print resonates with you, please forward to friends and colleagues with wild abandon!